Maternal Separation Anxiety

Maternal Separation Anxiety

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We often hear a lot about infant or child separation anxiety, but what about maternal separation anxiety?

Maternal separation anxiety is a normal developmental process of motherhood. Mothers are wired to care for and protect their infant, so it’s normal to feel anxious and worry when separating from your infant. However sometimes this anxiety may feel too much and start to impact your functioning, sense of self and confidence as a parent, and your relationship with your baby.

Some signs you may be experiencing maternal separation anxiety include:

· feeling worried, anxious, sad, guilty, or overwhelmed

· increased hypervigilance, feeling on edge, or scanning for threat

· being overcontrolling of plans or activities involving you or your baby

· having persistent worries or thoughts about your child’s safety and wellbeing

· avoiding separation from your baby

If you’re experiencing any of these symptoms that feel intrusive of your functioning, it’s important to talk about these feelings with a Perinatal Psychologist as we can help you to identify some of the signs of maternal separation anxiety, dig a little deeper into why you’re experiencing these feelings, and collaborate on ways to manage your anxiety.

It can be helpful to know that you’re not alone in these feelings, and that feelings of anxiety when separating from your baby are normal. But it can be helpful for your infant’s development to have short-term separation away from their caregivers as this builds their independence and resilience.

It can also be helpful to be clear in your mind about ‘why’ you are separating from your baby. Whether it be earning money, maintaining other identity roles, or perhaps an act of self-care. Feeling a sense of purpose behind your actions can help alleviate feelings of anxiety.

It’s not uncommon to experience feelings of maternal separation anxiety when returning to work after having your baby. Many parents will describe conflicting feelings of excitement to return to work and be back in the ‘adult world’ but also describe worry for their child’s wellbeing when separating.

Feeling concern for your child’s wellbeing when away from them is normal but can be impactful at heightened levels. maternal separation anxiety is not a conversation that is had enough and would benefit if it were more normalised and supported.

It can be helpful to establish clear communication with the people caring for your baby and even being transparent about the feelings of anxiety you are experiencing with separation. Some parents work with their baby’s carers to slowly build up their length of time separating from their baby or develop strategies if they feel it gets too much for either them or the baby.

It can also be helpful to ask for support from others around you through open communication, such as talking with your employer about flexible working arrangements or discussing with your partner how they can step up to support you at this time.

Another helpful tool for parents to explore with a Perinatal Psychologist is looking at their baby’s capabilities rather than vulnerabilities. When we’re feeling anxious, it’s so easy for us to only think of what could go wrong. Our babies are growing every day and are capable of so much more then we can tend to focus on, especially when we’re anxious. Remembering that babies need exposure to short-term separation to support their development and further strengthen their capabilities.

If you feel you are experiencing any symptoms of maternal separation anxiety that may be impactful of your functioning, please reach out to a Perinatal Psychologists who are experienced in the area of maternal separation anxiety and perinatal and infant mental health.